It’s tasteless mush." />Skip to main contentclockmenumore-arrownoyesBattle Red Blog homepageHorizontal - WhiteBattle Red Bloga Houston Texans communityFollow Battle Red Blog online:Follow Battle Red Blog on TwitterFollow Battle Red Blog on FacebookLog in or sign upLog InSign UpSite searchSearchSearchBattle Red Blog main menuFanpostsFanshotsTexansOddsAboutMastheadCommunity GuidelinesStubHubMoreAll 321 blogs on Horizontal - WhiteFanposts Fanshots Texans StoriesScheduleRosterStatsYahoo Texans NewsYahoo Texans Team PageYahoo Texans ReportYahoo Texans Depth ChartYahoo Texans TransactionsYahoo Texans PhotosOdds About Masthead Community Guidelines StubHub ✕Oatmeal Isn’t Underrated New http://www.thetexanslockerroom.com/authentic-tyler-ervin-jersey ,109commentsIt’s tasteless mush. CDTShare this storyShare this on FacebookShare this on TwitterShareAll sharing optionsShareAll sharing options for:Oatmeal Isn’t Underrated TwitterFacebookRedditPocketFlipboardEmailPhoto by Bob Levey/Getty ImagesThis morning you probably ate breakfast. You had an apple or a bowl of cereal or a granola bar, and tried to eat healthy until some demonic presence summoned a dozen doughnuts to sway you with forked tongues made of carbs and fat and sugar. Or you skipped breakfast entirely and fasted because they do that in Silicon Valley or you read an article from Huckberry or something. But more than anything I hope you didn’t tear open a package of dinosaur egg oatmeal and stick it in your coffee cup for breakfast. J.J. Watt is wrong. Oatmeal is in fact bad.Any food you have to mix and fill with other things can’t be underrated. It’s just a vehicle for better and greater things. On its own it’s carbs and fiber and hot water. Bland. Tasteless much. You got teeth for a reason. But then to make it edible you toss in cream, and sugar, and fruit, and peanut butter, and chocolate chips, and chopped nuts, and you end up with some Cracker Barrel sundae instead of a heart healthy breakfast. The only good thing about it is it comes in a dehydrated brown package that you can rip off, and carry easily. It’s perfect for the office or camping even Jordan Thomas Jersey , and then you end up hungry again in a hour. To stomp this out and suffocate the bawling belly you eat three packages of the stuff and had 450 calories before the day even begins. Or it comes in a silo that will rot in your cabinet for eternity and slowly become more mouse turds than oats. When the world ends, and we are cannibalizing and scouring and scrounging around in empty houses with our flanks prickly, eyes sunken deep in our skulls like moon craters, and heart yammering in our frail sick skeleton, you know what we will find? Oatmeal. Oatmeal filled with mouse turds that we will sift through and pick out. I can’t wait to be a paleontologist one day. On top of all that it’s a hot food. There’s nothing worse than something hot in the middle of summer. It’s like when the alcoholic Duck Phillips says it’s nice to drink something hot on a hot day as he forces his children who hate him to drink hot chocolate on an August afternoon. There’s no way this is true. He’s the absolute worst. My bad. Damn I forgot. The Texans are weak willed with their refrigerated cool down huts and indoor practice facilities. They probably actually need something to warm them up. No oatmeal isn’t underrated. There are so many foods we can classify as underrated. Take black beans. Fiber, protein, complex carbs. Costs $4.50 for a pound. Cooks in an instapot it 35 minutes and can feed you for a week. Spinach. Vitamin A and protein and is infinitely better than lettuce. Quinoa has every amino acid and is better than rice. Nuts shouldn’t be a snack but a meal on their own. I’ll live forever because of beet juice, not because of the fangs that were sunk in me. These are all underrated foods. But oatmeal? GTFO. I miss Arian Foster talking about fighting wolves and hating cats. That’s the offseason content we really need. I know this a Texans website to talk all things Houston Texans, but there’s a lot of really good football out there. Enjoy it. Seize it. Step outside the box. Savor it like it’s 6 p.m. on a Friday and you are at some Applebee’s happy hour. There are only 21 weeks of this. Sure Womens Will Fuller V Jersey , the Houston Texans are your favorite team, but there are so many other things to enjoy out there, like Vic Fangio’s coverage schemes, Le’Veon Bell running behind Kelechi Osemele, Kliff Kingsbury’s hot guy offense, and the afternoon shadows at Minnesota’s bird killing glass windmill.That being said, as much FUN football there is, there is an underworld of bland, banal DeAndre Hopkins Jersey White , impossible-to-watch football going on. It’s daunting how much football is out there. There’s almost too much of it, and so much of it is awful and a waste of one’s life and time. To help you and ourselves out for the upcoming season, we ranked every NFL team by their Game Pass entertainment value. The categories are scored from a scale of 1-5, and the categories are:The final rankings are both of our combined scores. Here are teams 32-17. The teams you don’t need to watch, and the teams you kind of sort of need to.32.) MIAMI DOLPHINS (12 Points)Matt Weston:Luke Beggs:31.) CINCINNATI BENGALS (14 Points)Matt Weston:Luke Beggs:T-30.) NEW YORK JETS (15 Points)Matt Weston:T-30.) DETROIT LIONS (15 Points)Matt Weston:Luke Beggs:28.) WASHINGTON REDSKINS (16 Points)T-27.) TENNESSEE TITANS (17 Points)Matt Weston:T-27.) OAKLAND RAIDERS (17 Points)Matt Weston:Luke Beggs:25.) NEW YORK GIANTS (18 Points)Matt Weston:Luke Beggs:T-24.) SAN FRANCISCO 49ers (22 Points)Matt Weston:T-24.) TAMPA BAY BUCCANEERS (22 Points)Matt Weston:Luke Beggs:T-22.) DENVER BRONCOS (23 Points)Matt Weston:T-22.) JACKSONVILLE JAGUARS (23 Points)Matt Weston:Luke Beggs:T-20.) HOUSTON TEXANS (24 Points)Matt Weston:Luke Beggs:T-20.) ARIZONA CARDINALS (24 Points)Matt Weston:Luke Beggs:T-18.) BUFFALO BILLS (25 Points)Matt Weston:Luke Beggs:T-18.) INDIANAPOLIS COLTS (25 Points)Matt Weston:Check back this afternoon for Part II.